A letter to Mr Blair. 

A letter to Mr Blair.

Dear Mr Blair,
I am writing to you on behalf of our beloved Premier, The Most Exalted Comrade Robert Mugabe (President of Zimbabwe, Sultan of Harare, Awarded the Order of the Desert Aloe of Western Sahara, The Silver Cloud of the Moroccan Night, The Order of The Oily Fires of Libya etc, etc), who would dearly like to join you in Sharm -El-Sheik for the New Year.

Our beloved Comrade would like you to know that, although he castigates you in public, he secretly admires your lifestyle and your power over the Egyptian hotel owners. As he has nowhere to go over New Year and as Mrs Dolly Mugabe would like to shop with Ms Cherie in Mr Omar's souk, he earnestly requests that you invite his entourage to visit with you at New Year. He promises to sing Auld Lang Syne with you in Mr Omar's dining room but will keep a low profile if you wish (He is prepared to stay in Taba if Mr Omar has a hotel there). Our beloved President will not even request a 500 SE for his trips to the beach--an E320 will suffice.

Comrade Robert is a personal friend of Prince Charles but, alas, our Dear President is now getting elderly and would not be able to keep up with the Sandringham shoot. In fact, harming any animal is now anathema to him. He would much prefer to view dolphins with you in the Red Sea.

Please E-mail me at Jshitatawe@yahoo.com if you are able to accomodate our beloved President over New Year. Mrs Dolly Mugabe sends her best regards and says that Mr Omar is a very good-looking man.

Sincere best wishes to the Blair Family over the Festive Season.

J.L. Shitatawe
Personal Secretary to H.M. Mugabe.